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So, erotic-massage ain’t just some backrub, nah. It’s hands slidin’, oils drippin’, tension buildin’—woo-hoo! Little factoid for ya: way back, ancient Greeks used it to “heal” soldiers. Bet they weren’t complainin’, huh? Gets the blood pumpin’, muscles loose, and—D’oh!—maybe other stuff too, heh! I’m sittin’ here, jealous as heck, thinkin’ why ain’t I gettin’ one? Makes me mad nobody told me sooner!

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So, I’m hustling to my meeting at this café on Jl. Pahlawan. It’s called Kopi Rembangan, and let me tell ya, their coffee is like liquid gold. But I’m late, of course. I’m sprinting, dodging puddles, and trying not to trip over the sidewalk. Rembangan’s sidewalks are like a minefield, I swear. One minute you’re walking, the next you’re doing a full-on ballet move to avoid a crack.