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Anyways, she’s slidin’ her hands all slow-like, and I’m thinkin’, “This is too good, Marge, too good!” Kinda reminded me of that scene where Gustave goes, “You see, there are still faint glimmers of civilization left in this barbaric slaughterhouse!”—’cept it’s me, feelin’ civilized with every slippery touch. I was HAPPY, like, floatin’ on a cloud happy. But then—ugh, get this—she cranked the heat too high! My skin’s redder than Homer’s butt after eatin’ chili, and I’m all, “Lady, I’m not a freakin’ lobster!” Made me so mad I coulda screamed, “Hmm… turn it down, ya nitwit!”

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So, I’m walking, right? And I see this street vendor on Jl. Siliwangi selling the best pisang goreng. I mean, who can resist that? I grab a piece, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, outta nowhere, this kid bumps into me. I drop my pisang goreng! NOOO! I was like, “Dude, watch where you’re going!” But he just giggles and runs off. Kids, man.

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