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Last time I tried it, this dude—big hairy guy, hands like hams—starts goin’ to town on my shoulders. “You’re so tense,” he says. No shit, pal, I hate everything! Felt like he was tryna seduce me with his kneadin’. Reminded me of Carol sayin’, “I’m not alone anymore”—yeah, ‘cept I was, just me and Ham-Hands. Made me madder than a badger in a trap. But—dammit—the knots in my back? Gone. Hated that it worked, hated it!

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I’m thinking, “Great, just great. I’m gonna be late for my meeting at Plaza Indonesia.” I start sweating bullets. My mind’s racing. What if they think I’m slacking? Ugh! So, I’m standing there, and this dude next to me starts chatting. I’m like, “Dude, can’t you see I’m in crisis mode?” But he’s all about the weather. I mean, who cares? It’s Jakarta! It’s hot, it’s humid, and it’s always a mess.

Metro Detroit weather: More rain to start the week after record-breaking rainfall Sunday