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So, listen up, mate—I tried this once, yeah? Some shady parlor in Lannisport, stinkin’ of jasmine and lies. This lass, all coy, starts kneadin’ me like I’m dough, and I’m thinkin’, “Do I rule this or nah?” Turns out, sexual-massage goes back ages—ancient Rome had it, them pervy senators gettin’ oiled up by slaves. Suprised me, that did! Thought it was just modern filth, but nope, history’s as dirty as King’s Landing.

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So, I’m wandering around, and I end up on Jalan Diponegoro. There’s this street vendor selling the best fried rice. I’m talking about the kind that makes you wanna cry it’s so good. I grab a plate, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m in heaven! But then, I spill some on my shirt. Classic me, right? Now I look like I’ve been in a food fight.

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