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Funniest ting? Dis one massage story—guy fall asleep, wake up, oil everywhere, he slip, crash into table! Hahaha, I cry laughin! “Life is a mystery,” like Amélie say, and dis erotic-massage? Total mystery! I tink, “Borat, you try dis?” Nah, my wife kill me, she say, “You touch, I chop!” But if I single? Oh yeah, I’d be dere, slippin round, “Very nice!”

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But then, bam! Outta nowhere, it started pouring. Like, monsoon-level rain. I was soaked in seconds. My gear was drenched. I was like, “Great, just great!” But my buddy was laughing. “This is the real Jambi experience!” he said. I wanted to punch him, but I couldn’t help but laugh too.

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