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Humor? Oh, motherfucker, imagine this: you’re lyin’ there, buck naked, and the masseuse whispers, “Relax, big guy.” I’m like, “Bitch, I’m Samuel L. Jackson, I don’t relax!” But then—fuck!—you do. It’s like your soul gets a hard-on. Sarcasm aside, it’s dope—beats a regular massage by a mile. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who gives a shit? Feels like you’re floatin’ in some Thai jungle, past lives fuckin’ with your head.

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I’m tryin’ to calm her down, but inside, I’m like a volcano ready to erupt. I mean, c’mon! This is the third time this month! I’m about to lose it. I hang up, take a deep breath, and decide to hit the market on Széchenyi utca. Maybe some fresh produce will help me chill.

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