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Right, so—how’s it work? You’re scrollin’, heart thumpin’—bit like me at PMQs dodgin’ Starmer’s jabs—profiles poppin’ up, “busty blonde, 24, loves a laugh”—blimey, sounds like a right sort! *The Secret in Their Eyes* again—“Memory is a mirror that lies”—cos them pics? Dodgy filters, mate, catfished worse than a Thames eel! Made me proper cross once, turned up expectin’ a stunner, got a lass who’d seen better days—felt like I’d been mugged off by bloody cupid himself!

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After that, I decide to chill by the Tisza River. It’s nice there, ya know? The water’s flowin’, birds are chirpin’. I’m thinkin’ maybe I’ll just sit and enjoy the view. But then, outta nowhere, this group of tourists shows up. They’re loud, takin’ selfies, and I’m just tryin’ to enjoy my peace. One dude almost falls in the river while tryin’ to get the perfect shot. I can’t help but laugh. Like, bro, it’s not that serious!