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So, right, finding one—blimey, it’s a right faff! Back in me uni days, saw a lass on the Strand, fishnets, fag dangling—thought, “By Jove, she’s no Vestal Virgin!” Didn’t clock it then, thick as a brick, me. Little known fact—Victorians called em “soiled doves,” poetic, eh? Makes ya wonder—doves or vultures? Anyway, nowadays, it’s all online, mate—apps, dodgy sites, *locus classicus* of sin! Type “escort near me,” and boom—more options than a toff’s wine cellar. Surprised me, that—tech’s turned pimps into coders! Made me proper cross tho—where’s the human bit, the chat, the haggle? All gone sterile, like a NHS waiting room.
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So, I’m all dolled up, right? Kimono, obi, the whole shebang. I step outside, and bam! It’s like a sauna. I’m sweating like a pig. Ugh! Why can’t it be a nice, cool day? I’m walking down the street, and I see this cute little café on Kossuth Lajos utca. I’m like, “I need coffee!” But then I remember I can’t drink it before performing. Total bummer.
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