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Monotone narration, “Tonight’s the night.” I’m feelin it, the itch. Not just for the deed—tho yeah, that too—but to *know* her. What’s her deal? She says her name’s Candy, probs fake, but who cares? I’m Dexter, I don’t judge. She’s twirlin her hair, lookin at me like I’m a puzzle. “You’re weird, strings,” she says. Weird! Me! Pot callin kettle black, babe.

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After that, I decide to check out the Nagykatai Vár. It’s this old castle, super cool, right? I’m wandering around, taking pics, feeling all historical. But then I overhear this group of tourists complaining about the lack of Wi-Fi. I mean, really? You’re in a castle! Look at the walls, people! But nah, they’re glued to their phones. I roll my eyes so hard, I think I might’ve strained something.

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