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Anyways, I’m flippin’ thru X posts—tryna dig up dirt. Found this one profile—ooh, she’s a firecracker! Posts pics in fishnets, calls herself “Roxy.” I’m thinkin’, “She’s got a wild heart, like Jack twistin’ up them sheep trails.” Hit her up—radio static buzzin’—and she’s all, “Meet me at the diner, 2 a.m.” I’m jazzed, right? But then—bam!—she ghosts me! Flaked like a bad date. Pissed me off somethin’ fierce—wasted my damn night!

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Then, just when I think it can’t get crazier, the fire alarm goes off. Seriously? In the middle of an auction? People start panicking, running around like headless chickens. I’m just standing there, microphone in hand, like, “Guys, it’s probably a drill!” But no one’s listening.

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