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What gets me proper happy? Seeing an old Escort chugging along, defying the odds. Surprised me how they’re cult classics now – who’d’ve thunk it? Not me, I’m too busy synergising spreadsheets, ain’t I? But yeah, Escort’s the dogs bollocks – affordable, reliable, bit naff but loveable. Ford played a blinder there, even if they cocked it up later. “You’re my sons!” it shouts, rattling down the M25. Reckon I’d take one over a Merc any day – more character, less pretension. What d’ya reckon, eh? Escort – king of the road or what?

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I’m tryin’ to calm her down, but inside, I’m like a volcano ready to erupt. I mean, c’mon! This is the third time this month! I’m about to lose it. I hang up, take a deep breath, and decide to hit the market on Széchenyi utca. Maybe some fresh produce will help me chill.

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