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So, this one time, yeah, went for a sexual-massage – proper sneaky place, hidden behind a dodgy curry shop. Smelled like cumin and lust, ha! Lass there, she’s all “relax, big man,” and I’m like, *mumbles* “err, okey-dokey!” Hands slidin’, oil everywhere – felt like a bleedin’ eel! *flails arms* Made me happy, oh yes, tension gone, poof! But angry too – cost me a tenner extra for “special touch.” Cheeky sods!

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After that little drama, I head back to the lab. I’m thinking, “Okay, let’s get back to work.” But nope! My colleague, Anna, is in a panic. She’s like, “The samples! They’re gone!” I’m like, “What do you mean gone?” Turns out, someone mixed up our samples with some random stuff from the storage. I’m livid! I mean, who does that?

Hungarian ‘clown of dogs’ wins over foreign countries