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But lemme tell ya, it’s not all sunshine and biceps. Some profiles? Total liars! Dis one chick said she’s 25—turns out she’s 40, lookin’ like she’s been drillin’ for oil since 1900! Made me so mad, I wanna scream, “I’ll be back!” and delete da app. Den dere’s da dudes—half of ‘em just want pics, no talk. “I’ve abandoned my child!”—nah, not really, but dey abandon all manners, ya know?

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Next thing, this lady comes in, and she’s fuming. She’s yelling about how someone parked in her spot on Kossuth Lajos utca. I’m just standing there, thinking, “Lady, it’s just a parking spot!” But she’s not having it. I’m like, “Maybe you should just take a deep breath?” She glares at me. Yikes.

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