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Now, I’ve seen some parlors, right? One in Tortuga—filthy shack, smelled o’ rum and regret. Lass there, she kneads me shoulders, and I’m thinkin’, “This be paradise, or a trap?” Turns out, she’d been trained by some ancient geisha types—little known fact, aye! Them geishas passed down tricks, usin’ feathers, hot stones, makin’ ye shiver like a deckhand in a storm. Got me feelin’ alive, not just a soggy pirate! But then—blast it—she ups an’ charges me double! Made me mad as a shark with no teeth, I tell ye!

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But then, outta nowhere, it started pouring rain. I mean, seriously? I was drenched in seconds. I ducked into a little shop on Rákóczi utca to wait it out. The owner was super nice and offered me a towel. I was like, “Dude, you’re a lifesaver!” We ended up chatting about the town, and he told me about the best places to eat. I made a mental note to check out that little bistro he mentioned.

Tragedy at the Esztergom Rally, four people died (video)