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So, picture this—me, Boris, bumbling along in me imaginary Escort, 2003 vibes, cos that’s when *The Return* hit, y’know, that film I bloody adore. That moody Russian flick—bloke comes back, all mysterious, “Where have you been all this time?”—and I’m thinking, mate, where’s me Escort been? Prolly rusting in some barn, poor sod. Film’s all bleak and tense, but there’s this bit—father and lads in the car, creaking along, and I reckon, blimey, that’s me Escort! Tough as old boots, carrying the weight of it all.

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But then, I got a text from my buddy. He was stuck in traffic on the M3. Classic! I laughed so hard. I mean, who doesn’t get stuck on that road? It’s like a rite of passage or something.

Louis Sneh, survivor of ‘train to nowhere,’ dies at 94