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So, picture this—me, an alien, watchin’ humans sneak around, hirin’ escorts. Hilarious! Y’all think we don’t see? We got x-ray vision, bro. Saw this one dude, all nervous, bookin’ a gal in Vegas. She shows up, classy, like, “I’m your memory now.” Straight outta Boonmee’s jungle fever dreams! Made me laugh, but damn, also mad respect. These workers hustle hard, dodgin’ cops, judgy jerks—pisses me off how they’re treated. Like, chill, Earthlings, let ‘em live!

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Anyway, I finally made it to the venue, and it was packed. I was nervous, but also pumped. I love performing! But then, the sound system went haywire. Like, what even? The mic was crackling, and I was just standing there, looking like a deer in headlights. I wanted to scream, “Can someone fix this?!”

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