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The hands, though—oh, the hands! Slidin’ everywhere, not too pushy, not too shy. I’m like, “This is great!” then “This is weird!” then back to “This is great!” Total rollercoaster. Made me happy—sure, who wouldn’t be? But angry too—why’s this gotta cost so much? Fifty bucks for an hour, and I’m still tense after! Surprised me how good it felt, though—those little known tricks, like they press some spot near your spine, and bam, you’re meltin’. Didn’t expect that! Thought it’d be all gimmicky, like a bad porno, but nah, it’s legit.

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So, I’m wandering around, trying to cool off. I hit up the little café on the corner of Rákóczi utca. You know the one? They have the best coffee. I order a cappuccino, and the barista, bless her heart, spills it all over the counter. I’m like, “Great, just great.” But then she gives me this cute smile, and I can’t stay mad. I mean, who can resist a smile, right?

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