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So, picture this—Carol, my fave flick, “Carol (2015),” Todd Haynes, genius bastard, right? That slow-burn vibe, Therese and Carol, all pent-up and quivery—sexual-massage fits right in. “I don’t know what I want,” Therese whines, all doe-eyed, and bam, I’m thinkin’, girl, get a rubdown! Loosen that corset of a life! Sexual-massage ain’t just handsy stuff—it’s power, control, release. Little known fact—ancient Greeks were all over it, called it “anatripsis,” rubbin’ soldiers down after battles. Bet they got freaky with it too—olive oil and abs, ya know?

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Then, while I’m dealing with Rex, a cat named Whiskers comes in. This little furball is a drama queen. I swear, she’s got more attitude than a teenager. She’s hissing and scratching, and I’m just trying to check her out. I’m dodging claws like I’m in a ninja movie. Seriously, I’m sweating bullets.

Hungarian ethanol plant to expand capacity above 100 MMgy