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About Budapest

Ooh, but dem oils – slippery as eels! Lavender’s me fave, calms me twitchy self. Once spilled it, tho – oopsie! – all ova me cave floor. Stunk like posh lady for days. We swears, sexual-massage ain’t just naughty bits – shoulders n feet too! Dat surprised me, precious, thought it was all – y’know – down dere.

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So, I pack up and head down to Rákóczi utca. I’m thinkin’ maybe I can find some shelter. I duck into this little café, Café Kávézó, and order a coffee. I need caffeine, man. While I’m waiting, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m just trying to enjoy my coffee, and they’re throwing around words like “divorce” and “custody.” I’m like, “Yikes, can’t a sharpener catch a break?”

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