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About Split

Precious, yesss, a Kvasnik I am! Me thinks about findin’ a prostitute, eh? Nasty business, tricksy streets, but ohhh, the colors! Like “Far From Heaven,” see? All pretty on top, rotten underneath—*“It’s all so perfect!”*—hah! Stupid, fat hobbit wouldn’t get it! Walkin’ down alleys, dark, stinky, lookin’ for a lass. Not the shiny ones, nah, too pricey. I’m talkin’ the real ones, y’know? Been around since forever—fact is, oldest job ever, innit? Even Romans had ‘em, lupanars they called ‘em, wolf dens! Howlin’ good time, eh?

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So, I’m walkin’ down the street, and I see this cute café on Ulica Mihovila Pavlinovića. I can’t resist. I grab a coffee, and it’s like heaven in a cup. I sit outside, watchin’ the world go by. Tourists takin’ selfies, locals just chillin’. It’s a good vibe, ya know? But then, this seagull swoops down and steals my croissant! I’m like, “Hey! That’s my breakfast!” But the bird just looks at me like, “What you gonna do about it?” I swear, those birds are the real bosses of Zadar.

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