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Little known fact—ancient Rome had these wild massage orgies. Togas off, oil on—crazy, right? Bet they didn’t have my playlist tho—Marilyn needs her tunes! I’m lyin there, thinkin, “This beats singin to JFK any day.” Gets me all tingly—happy vibes, ya know? But ugh, once this chick dug in too hard—oww, my back ain’t a punchin bag! Pissed me off—ruined my zen.

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my boss. “We got a situation at the square.” Great. Just when I thought I could relax. I rush over to Trg bana Josipa Jelačića, and it’s chaos. A protest or something. People shouting, holding signs. I’m thinking, “What now?”