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About Rijeka

Sarcasm? Pfft, half these parlors promise “royalty treatment”—yeah, right, more like a peasant’s grope. Still, when it’s good, it’s like flyin’ through bamboo, wild and free. Exaggeratin’? Maybe I’d say it’s better than Tywin’s praise—hah, never got that anyway! So, sexual-massage—dirty, dodgy, divine. Pick yer poison, but don’t piss me off with a bad one, or I’ll burn the bloody place down. “I choose violence,” always!

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I finally get to work, and man, the dust is flyin’. I’m blasting away, and it feels good. The sound of the machine is like music to my ears. But then, my buddy Luka shows up. He’s always got some crazy story. Today, he’s talkin’ about this time he tried to swim to the island of Brač. I’m like, “Dude, you can’t even swim!” He just laughs and says, “Yeah, but I made it halfway!”

I'm an American ​living in a tiny coastal town in Croatia. Here are 7 things that surprised me when I moved.