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I’m picturin’ it now—some fool layin’ there like Grace in “Dogville,” thinkin’ they all high and mighty, sayin’, “I’m just here to be of service!” Then bam! Masseuse flip the script, and it’s all, “You thought this was charity, huh?” Lord, I cackle thinkin’ ‘bout it! Made me happy as a pig in mud—‘til I got mad! ‘Cause why these parlors chargin’ an arm and a leg? $200 for a “happy endin’”? Robbery, I tell ya! Madea don’t play that—take that mess to the flea market, halleluyer!

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So, I roll into the city, right? First thing I see is the walls. Those massive stone walls. Like, who needs a gym when you can just walk those? I’m huffin’ and puffin’ like I just ran a marathon. But hey, the view from the top? Breathtaking! You can see the Adriatic Sea, all blue and sparkly. Makes ya wanna dive in, but nah, I’m not about to ruin my boots.

Easter in Dubrovnik 2025: Music, Tradition, and a Taste of Spring