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I see dis one gal—proper fit, lips redder than a slapped arse. I’m like, “Oi, love, how’s it hangin’?” She’s givin’ me the eye, sussin’ me out. Reminds me of Lancaster Dodd screamin’, “You can’t tame what’s wild!”—and bruv, she’s wild as fuck. I’m thinkin’, shit, dis could be a laugh or a total mare. Last time I tried dis, some geezer rolled up, all aggro, shoutin’ she’s his. Got me ragin’—I ain’t here for drama, just a quick shag!

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Then, I bumped into my buddy Alex. He’s always got some wild story. Turns out, he got lost in the market on Kallithea Street. Like, how do you get lost in a market? It’s not a maze! He was all flustered, talkin’ about how he ended up in some random alley and almost bought a goat. A goat! I couldn’t stop laughin’. “Dude, you’re not movin’ to the countryside!”

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