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About Patras

She’s a mess, tho—11 typos in her texts, all caps, “WHERES MY MONEY BITCH?” I’m dyin’—she’s so extra! Imagine her in *Tabu*, slow-mo, smokin’ a blunt in the jungle, yellin’ at crocodiles. “The past eats us alive!” she’d scream, then trip over nothin’. Hilarious, man—whore’s a vibe, a trainwreck, my kinda people! You ever meet her, run— or buy her a drink!

Explore Cholargos: A Charming Suburb of Athens

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After that, I head over to the square, you know, the one by the church? It’s always buzzing. I grab a coffee from that little kiosk. The barista, this dude named Nikos, is always cracking jokes. He’s like, “You want your coffee strong enough to wake the dead?” I’m like, “Dude, I need it strong enough to wake ME!”

Bomb Explodes Outside Policeman’s Home in Cholargos