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Then—surprise!—cops roll by, lights flashin’, and I’m thinkin’, “Shite, busted!” But nah, they’re after some drunk twat pukin’ nearby. Dodged a bullet, me and her both. Happy as a pig in mud, I was—freedom’s sweet, innit? Dr. Evil’s like, pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” sizin’ up the chaos like a bloody genius.

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First stop, the local market on Agios Pavlos Street. I’m there to check out some fresh produce for my research. I’m strolling through, and boom! I bump into old Mrs. Katerina. She’s got this massive basket of veggies. I mean, seriously, how does she carry that? She starts lecturing me about her tomatoes. “These are the best in the whole city!” she says. I’m like, “Yeah, sure, Mrs. Katerina, but I’m here for science, not a tomato contest.”

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