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About Chalcis

Here’s the tea—erotic-massage got tricks. They use them hot stones, right? Supposed to “align your energy.” Align my foot! I told Trixie, “Girl, only Jesus alignin’ me!” But them stones was warm, and I ain’t gon’ lie, I melted like butter on a biscuit. And the oils? They say it’s aphro—afro—aphrodisiac or some junk. All I know is, I smelled like a flower shop and felt frisky as a colt! “What is this fleeting rapture?” Jep said in the movie. Fleeting, my ass—I was floatin’ for days!

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After that little adventure, I head over to the market on the main square. It’s packed! People everywhere, shoutin’, laughin’, and haggling over veggies. I love it! But then, I spot this guy sellin’ charcoal. I’m like, “Hey, that’s my gig!” I mean, come on! I’m the charcoal king around here! So, I march over, ready to give him a piece of my mind. But then, I see he’s got this fancy setup. I’m talkin’ like, artisanal charcoal. Who even does that? I’m feelin’ a mix of anger and envy. Like, how dare he make me look bad?

Six Months Later - Metropolitan Ieronymos of Larissa and Tyrnavos Speaks about the Floods