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What pisses me off? These posers actin’ like it’s all sleazy. Growling, “You merely adopted the dark”—they don’t get it’s an art, not some cheap thrill. Makes me wanna smash somethin’. But when it’s good? Oh, mate, I’m floatin’—happy as a pig in mud. Surprised me how it’s less about the naughty bits and more about—shit, what’s that line? “It’s about the connection.” Yeah, Jesse and Celine chattin’ in Paris, that’s the vibe. You’re locked in, breathin’ heavy, world melts away.

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Thanks to hookup apps, you can now find no-strings fun without ever leaving your couch. Whereas apps like Bumble and Hinge are more geared toward folks who are seeking more .

As I’m walking, I bump into my friend Maria. She’s all excited, talking about some art exhibit at the National Gallery. I’m like, “Art? Really?” But she drags me there anyway. And wow, I’m actually impressed. The colors, the vibes, everything’s just poppin’. I even take a selfie with this giant painting. Gotta flex on the ‘gram, ya know?