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But here’s da kicker – it’s not all happy endings, ya? Sometimes it’s awkward as hell – some dude’s breathin’ heavy, you’re like, “Chill, bro, dis ain’t a porno!” I’ve seen it, I’ve lived it – one time, dis masseuse, she’s all “softly, softly,” like in da movie, “don’t rush, feel da moment.” I’m like, “Lady, I’m Arnie, I don’t do slow!” But den – boom – it hits me, dat quiet power, “love is a whisper,” ya? Sexual-massage can be dat – gentle but strong, like me liftin’ 300 pounds!

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Next thing, I spill my coffee all over my desk. Ugh! It’s like the universe is against me today. I’m trying to clean it up while answering calls. Multitasking like a boss, right? But then, I get a call from a guy on Kallidopoulou Street. He’s lost his wallet. I’m like, “Dude, retrace your steps!” But he’s all, “I was at the Kourouta café!” I’m thinking, “Great, now I gotta deal with a wallet hunt.”

Optimism, Adorned: In Conversation With Larissa Loden