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About Patras

Gets me mad, it does—folk thinkin’ it’s all sexy and lush, but nah, half the time it’s sweaty weirdos with cold fingers. We hates it! “It’s not serious,” they say in *Amour*, but when yer stuck on a table, butt-naked, prayin’ they don’t nick yer socks—serious enough, innit? Once tried it meself—thought, “Gollum, treat yerself!”—big mistake, precious. Lass kept yammerin’ bout me “tension,” like I ain’t tense from livin’ in caves! Smelt like cheap lotion, made me sneeze—achoo!—oil everywhere, slipped right off the table, landed on me arse. Laughed meself sick after, though—proper numpty moment.

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Leof. Andrea Siggrou , Athina 41, Greece Erotic Massages Relax Spa 10,km away. Are we missing a place?

Finally, I head back home, still buzzin’ from the day. I’m tired, but it’s a good tired. I flop on my bed, thinkin’ about all the craziness. What a day! Can’t wait to do it all again tomorrow.

The Greek man teaching Turks the art of bouzouki – “They’re crazy about it…”