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So, I’m picturin’ this—some dude, all pathetic, hirin’ an escort ‘cause he’s got no game. Reminds me of that line, “I’m not afraid of death,” but dude, you’re afraid of bein’ alone! Escorts swoop in, all sexy and fake-smiley, and I’m like—damn, that’s smart! They’re cashin’ in on losers! Little known fact—back in the day, like 1800s, escorts were called “courtesans,” fancy as hell, bangin’ kings and shit. Now? They’re just a phone call away, no crown needed!

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Then, I head down to the marina. The water’s looking nice, but the wind? Oh man, it’s like a beast today. I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need.” I get my boat ready, and as I’m untangling my nets, I see this kid on the dock. He’s throwing rocks into the water, and I’m like, “Dude, you’re gonna scare the fish away!” But he just grins at me. Kids, man. They don’t care.

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