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So, I tried it once, yeah? Mate of mine, proper fit bird, she’s like, “Let’s chill.” Oil’s out, hands movin’, I’m thinkin’, “This is peng!” Felt like Jesse in *Before Sunset*—y’know, “What if this is it?” That moment, bruv, pure magic. But then—BAM—she elbows me ribs by accident! I’m screamin’, “Oi, watch it!” Laughed my arse off, tho. Still, got me feelin’ all warm inside, like, “This is bless.”

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Then, I bump into my buddy Alex. He’s all hyped about this new game drop. We start talking about it, and I’m like, “Dude, we gotta hit up the gaming store later!” He’s down, ofc. But then, he tells me he’s been banned from online gaming for a week. I’m like, “What’d you do this time?” Turns out, he raged quit and called someone a noob. Classic Alex.

Ludumo Lamati defeats Haidari Mchanjo