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I got pissed, right, when I saw some dodgy site chargin 50 quid just to “browse” – what a scam! Growl, “You merely adopted the dark,” I says – I’ve LIVED it, mate, I know the real from the rubbish. So, tip one: don’t pay upfront, ever. Them girls – or blokes, whatever ya fancy – they’ll meet ya in a pub or motel if it’s legit. Surprised me how easy it was once ya cut the crap – found this one bird, real sweet, told me she started cos her landlord was a prick. Felt bad, but she was laughin, sayin, “Cash is cash, luv.”

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So, I’m headin’ to the fields, and I pass by the Parc de la Mairie. It’s a nice spot, but today? Ugh. Kids everywhere, screamin’ and runnin’ wild. I’m like, “Chill, little monsters!” But they’re havin’ the time of their lives. I can’t help but smile. Kids and their energy, man.

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