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About Paris

Right, so you’re after one – where d’you start? Web’s your best mate, but it’s a minefield, yeah? Links dodgier than a photocopier jam. I’d be like, “This is my kingdom!” – channellin’ that *Pan’s Labyrinth* Pale Man vibe, all creepy and in charge. But nah, I’d muck it up – typin’ “prostitue” with 14 typos, fat fingers fumblin’. “David, you plonker!” I’d yell at meself. Happy though – freedom’s the dream, innit? No 9-to-5 grind, just vibes.

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Sam. He’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe what happened!” Turns out, he was at the market on Rue de la Liberté, and someone tried to steal his wallet! Like, what is wrong with people? I’m fuming. I mean, Vitry is usually chill, but come on!

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