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Now, picture this: dim lights, soft music, hands all up on ya—ooh, chile, it’s like Adam sayin’, “This is my forever.” But here’s the sass—some fool tried tellin’ me it’s “just a massage.” Naw, boo! It’s a tease, a slow burn, a “you ain’t ready for this” kinda deal! Got me hollerin’, “Don’t play with me, I’m sensitive!” Funniest thing? Heard some dude fell asleep durin’ one—snored through the sexy part! Wasted good money, halleluyer!

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Then, outta nowhere, this dude at the next table starts talkin’ to me. He’s like, “You’re a lumberjack, huh?” I’m thinkin’, “How’d he know?” I mean, I’m wearin’ my flannel and boots, but still! Turns out, he’s a local artist. We start chattin’ about trees and art. Kinda cool, right? But then he asks me to pose for a sketch. I’m like, “Dude, I’m not a model!” But I do it anyway.

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