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About Paris

Oi, mate, findin’ a prossie, eh? What a bleedin’ mission! Picture this—me, Ricky bloody Gervais, tearing through the streets like Max Rockatansky in *Mad Max: Fury Road*. “I live, I die, I live again!”—except it’s me huntin’ for a tart instead of guzzling guzzoline. You’d think it’s easy, right? Nah, it’s a right palaver! Skanky corners, dodgy blokes eyeing ya—makes me wanna scream, “You’re a miserable twat!” to the whole lot.

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So, I step outta my place on Rue de la République, and bam! The sun’s shining like it’s tryin’ to blind me. I squint, grab my coffee from that little café on the corner—Café de la Gare, I think?—and spill half of it on my shirt. Great start, right? I’m already feelin’ like a mess.

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