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So yeah, findin a prossie? It’s a mug’s game, mate. Thrillin tho—gets the blood pumpin! But next time, I’m stayin home with me DVD, cos this shit’s too mad even for Ricky bloody Gervais. “The suspect is out there,” Fincher’d say—yeah, and she’s chargin by the hour! Cackle at that, ya tosser!

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I finally find this cute little café on Rue du Général de Gaulle. I order a café crème, and the barista? She’s super nice. But then, she spills it all over the counter! I’m like, “Noooo!” But she laughs it off, and I can’t help but chuckle too. It’s just coffee, right? But man, I needed that boost!

French teen dies of heart failure after knife attack near school