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Aight, listen up, you filthy animals! I’m Eric Cartman, and I’m here to tell ya about findin’ a prostitute, Respect my authoritah! So, I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ ‘bout my fave movie, *The Social Network* – ya know, that badass flick where Zuckerberg screws everyone over, “You don’t get to 500 million friends without makin’ a few enemies,” right? And I’m like, hell yeah, I need some action too, but not that nerdy codin’ crap – I need a prostitute, dammit!

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Finally, he comes with me, and we fix the machine. Thank goodness! I’m feeling like a hero, but then I step in something. Yeah, you guessed it. Cow poop. Great. Just great. I’m standing there, trying to scrape it off my shoe, and I can’t help but laugh. Like, this is my life now.

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