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So, I’m chattin’ her up, diggin’ for dirt—did you know some of these lasses keep diaries? Yeah, wild, right? One bird told me she scribbles every punter’s quirks—‘Big Nose,’ ‘Sweaty Palms’—like a bleedin’ spy log! I’m half tempted to nick it for MI6. Anyway, she’s spillin’ tales—says some geezer last week tried payin’ with a dodgy watch. “Looked like it came off a cereal box,” she laughs. I’m dyin’—imagine Q branch whippin’ up a gadget that crap!

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So, I’m sippin’ my coffee, feeling all good, when BOOM! I hear this loud crash. I look up, and some dude just smashed his bike into a lamppost on Rue de la Libération. Like, bro, how do you not see that? I almost spit my coffee everywhere. I mean, come on!