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I’d probably overthink it—am I a jerk for even wonderin’? Probly. But it’s fascinatin’—there’s this story, 1800s London, some prossie named Fanny saved a dude from a fire. True hero! Nobody talks about that—too busy clutchin’ pearls. Surprised me, honestly—thought it’d all be seedy, but there’s guts there. Still, I’m like, “Pretty, pretty good luck I’m not in that mess!” Imagine me, haggling—“Five bucks? Ten? I’m broke!” She’d laugh in my face.

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After that, I’m feeling a bit peckish, so I hit up this little bistro on Rue de la Fontaine. I order a quiche, and it’s honestly the best thing I’ve ever tasted. I’m in food heaven. But then, the waiter brings me the wrong dish. I’m like, “Uh, I ordered the quiche, not the mystery meat.” He looks at me like I’m speaking Martian. I mean, c’mon, it’s not rocket science!

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