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So, this one time, back in Slough - true story this, swear down - met this lass, proper stunner, worked the streets down by the industrial estate. Called her “Red” cos of her hair, fiery as a dragon’s arse, yeah? She’d laugh, say, “David, I’m the CEO of me own empire,” cheeky mare! Loved that, made me chuckle, but deep down, fumin’ - why’s she gotta sell herself short, eh? Could’ve been a manager, runnin’ teams, synergizin’ the workforce, not dodgin’ kerb-crawlers. Wasted potential, that’s what grinds my gears.

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I strap on my parachute. Yeah, I know it sounds wild, but trust me, it’s the best way to get a bird’s-eye view. I jump off the roof of a nearby building. The wind’s rushin’ past me, and I’m thinkin’, “This is insane!” I land right near the church, and it’s like a scene from a movie. Fire everywhere, people yellin’, and I’m just tryin’ to keep my cool.

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