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Alright, listen up, ye mortal fool! I’m Gandalf, the Grey, the Wise, the one who says, “You shall not pass!” – and today I’m talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, aye! Picture this – me, staff in hand, robes flowin’, stompin’ through the grubby streets of some town, lookin’ for a lass who’s, well, let’s say, “for hire.” Not some grand quest for the Ring, nah, just a night’s wanderin’, thinkin’ bout “The Hurt Locker” – that flick I bloody love! Kathryn Bigelow, she gets it – tension, danger, sweat drippin’ down yer face. “I’m done, I’m out,” says Staff Sgt. James in that movie, and I’m thinkin’ – mate, I ain’t done yet, I’m divin’ in!

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Then there’s Boulevard des Épices. Say what?! Yeah, bruv, smells like a mix of exotic herbs and midnight oil – powerful like a cheeky cocktail of tension and delight. I get mad sometimes ‘cause some tourists never respect the vibes here, always trippin’ on the cobbles, forgetting the history under their feet. But ya know, it adds spice to life!

Mutzig Amabeats rolls out 3rd phase: District event| The New Times