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About Lille

One time, she bribed a guard—true story! Slipped him 50 bucks and a wink, got her john outta solitary. Pissed me off, man! How’s she outsmart me? Me, Bart freakin’ Simpson, warden badass! But—get this—kinda impressed too. Gutsy move, right? Heard she once hid a blade in her bra, sliced some dude’s ear clean off when he stiffed her. Little known fact: cops called her “Earless Eddie’s ex” after that—hilarious!

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And lemme tell ya, every corner’s got a story. Some nights I’d be chattin’ with locals at the bodega on Rue du Docteur Rieux—yeah, that’s right, Dr. Rieux, as if the city itself is a doctor treatin’ your soul. I’ve had deep convos there about intimacy, life, love, and trust. Oops, did I mention sometimes I get sooo mad ‘cause nobody listens, like in the movie: “There’s gotta be a clue, c’mon, you gotta see it!” But then, just as quickly, I’m laughing ’cause life’s absurd and so beautiful.

Dismembered body: Witness recounts his eerie discovery close to the Luxembourgish border