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Funniest thing, dude — she’s tellin’ me ‘bout this john who paid in nickels once. Nickels! 20 pounds of ‘em! I’m dyin’, picturin’ that clown haulin’ a sack like some broke-ass Santa. “Even a grain of rice hurts,” she quotes, winkin’ — “Oldboy” style, brother! Love that flick, keeps me grounded when this crap gets too real.

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You ever wander near the tiny park by Boulevard Henri Barbusse? It's a quirky little green retreat amidst concrete chaos. Seriously, there’s a bench by a f&%*ing ancient oak where I once had a tearful session… And heck, the irony of counseling problems while nature just do its own wild thing wasn’t lost on me. My clients sometimes compare that bench to the rugged terrain of Brokeback Mountain—I laugh, shakin’ my head (because, c’mon, life’s already a wild ride, right?)

Carl Dixon acoustic rock