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Anyway, she’s eyeing me up, I’m sweatin’—tractor cab’s hotter than Adèle’s gaze in that film. I’m thinkin’, “This is my moment, my blue warmth!” Mutter to meself, “Stay calm, Brentster, you’re the king of banter.” I go, “Fancy a ride on me John Deere?” She’s like, “What’s that, ya twat?” Laughed me arse off—proper icebreaker! Told her, “It’s not just a tractor, it’s a lifestyle”—she weren’t impressed.
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With La Moutonne’s resident “Don Juan,” Pierre—the elegant gentlemen we’d seen dressed in white who was indeed a fantastic dancer—and participated in a conga line with everyone else, seeing the whole village rolling with laughter as we snaked our way around the square to the tune of “Super Freak,” I knew I’d found my kind of Southern France.La Crau Prostitute
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