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Growling, “You merely adopted the dark,” I see the grime others miss. Like, some punters catfish with pics from 10 years back – cheeky sods! Had this one geezer, swore he’s ripped, turns up lookin’ like a soggy chip. Nearly lost me mask laughin’! But when it works – oh, mate, it’s fireworks. Found this fit bird once, proper clicked, shagged like rabbits – happy days! Still, rare as hen’s teeth, that.

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Then, there’s this lady, Claire. She’s all about fashion, right? She brings in these fancy heels. I’m like, “Lady, these are gonna break your ankles.” But she’s all, “No, no, they’re perfect!” I’m just rollin’ my eyes. Fashion over comfort, I guess.

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