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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk sex-dating like it’s a damn revolution! Picture this: you’re swipin’ left, swipin’ right, lookin’ for a spark, somethin’ real, y’know? Like in *A Prophet*, where Malik’s tryna survive, clawin’ his way up—sex-dating’s the same grind! You’re dodgin’ creeps, fake profiles, and horny billionaires who think they can buy love with their private jets. Makes me mad as hell!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, torrential downpour. I’m soaked in seconds. I run for cover under this awning on Rue des Écoles. I’m standing there, shivering, and I see this lady with an umbrella. I’m like, “Hey, can I share that?” She looks at me like I’m crazy. Rude!

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