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But seriously, it’s all bout consent—gotta say it. No creepy stuff, or I’m out! Makes me angry when folks cross lines. Keep it fun, keep it sexy, keep it *right*. I’d be tellin’ Dwight, “It’s not just a backrub, ya weirdo!” Oh, and the oils? Smell like heaven—or that pizza joint in *Inherent Vice*. “Dig it, man,” I’d say, sniffin’ lavender like a total goof. That’s me—Michael Scott—bringin’ you the scoop on sexual-massage! Whaddya think, pal?

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First off, I’m late. Classic me. I sprint down Rue de la Mairie, dodging dog poop like it’s an Olympic sport. I swear, if I had a euro for every time I almost slipped, I’d be rich. Anyway, I finally get to the office, and guess what? My computer’s acting like it’s from the Stone Age. I mean, c’mon! It’s 2023, not 1923!

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