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But yo, when it works? Fuckin’ fire. Hooked up with this chick once—total vibe, no strings, just raw. “Blood is the life,” Adam’d say—sex-dating’s got that pulse, that rush. Little secret tho—back in the 90s, pre-Tinder, folks used newspaper ads for this shit. “SWM seeks SWF for fun”—wild, right? Blew my mind when I found that out. Grandpa was prolly a freak!

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I’m chasing them down Rue des Écoles, yelling like a madman. “Get back here, you fluffy idiots!” I swear, they think it’s a game. I’m sweating bullets, and then I trip over a rock. Classic me, right? Faceplant in front of a bunch of tourists. They’re laughing, taking pics. Great. Just what I needed.

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