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Oh, nearly forgot—hrrrmph—me fave story! Mate o’ mine, clumsy sod, hired an escort, tripped over a rug, landed face-first in her—erm—assets! She just cackled, “First time’s free, love!” Proper legend! Sex escort life, innit—wild, messy, bit mad. Like me, really—stumblin’ through, hopin’ no one notices me pants are down! “City of God” taught me— “If you run, the beast catches you.” Escorts don’t run, mate—they strut! Respect, that. Oi, fancy a cuppa? I’m knackered typin’ this!

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Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off. I’m like, “What the heck?!” Everyone’s scrambling, and I’m just standing there, half in shock, half wondering if I should grab my notes. Priorities, right? Turns out, it was just a burnt croissant from the café downstairs. Classic Treillières. Only here can a croissant cause a mini panic.

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